Act I
NEMORINO (gazing longingly at Adina)
Such a beauty! Such a darling!
Who can see her and not adore her?
Though for pity I implore her,
I get nothing but disdain.
She has mastered reading and writing;
Long division for her is sugar-candy.
But my schooling is so scanty
I can only sigh in vain.
Such a beauty! Such a darling!
Such a darling, yet so distant,
Brightly shining, a star far above me.
Though I long for her to love me
Empty handed I remain.
Though I long for her to love me,
I get nothing but disdain.
I can only sigh in vain.
ADINA (reading about Tristan's elixir) "An elixir expressly designed To ignite the lady's frozen heart." ... What potential in the potion For the awkward and the shy! Jungle passion, raw emotion From a bottle you can buy! "A drop he'd barely swallowed, When sparks of lightening followed: Behold! Isolda smolders! The fire's begun to blaze. Isolda, cold no longer, Yearns to enfold her lover. Days of disdain are over, Conquered by true devotion. And for the amazing potion Our hero sings daily rounds of praise." What potential in the potion, For the awkward and the shy! Jungle passion, raw emotion From a bottle you can buy!
BELCORE As when Paris, drawn to beauty, Gave the golden apple to Venus, To confirm the bond between us, With a flower I come to you. Yet I claim a greater glory Than the hero of my story; To repay this tiny token, Your heart alone will do. One can hardly fail to notice That you find me appetizing, Justly so and not surprising: I'm a sergeant. Need I say more? To the splendor of a helmet Bashful beauty must surrender. Even Venus, soft and tender, Yields to Mars, God of war.
DULCAMARA (entering)
You peasants! And others!
Some quiet, please!
Now listen, pay attention!
My fame, importance, and expertise
I hardly need to mention.
A wonder man, I'm number one
In mastery of medicine.
The name is Dulcamara,
Familiar with all cases,
I'm the man with the aces,
And known throughout the universe
And ... and ...
And other places.
A servant of humanity,
A friend who never fails you;
A man devoid of vanity,
I conquer all that ails you.
To further my philanthropy,
I travel night and day.
So come and buy, come buy from me,
A bargain, by the way.
Why even mention pay?
This hearty booster made for you
When silver age approaches
Not only offers aid for you
But kills off rats and roaches.
The claim corroborated,
Confirmed and validated;
I pass around the document
For each and all to see.
This bottle offers benefit;
By tasting now and then of it
A man well in his eighties,
Who'd given up on ladies,
Soon is the proud progenitor
Of a dozen on his knee,
And stronger than a stevedore
Of roughly twenty three.
And here's a soothing syrup
Designed to brace and cheer up;
Decrepit widows sipping it
Go skipping off with glee.
You women, spry though elderly,
Whose playful eye yet twinkles,
With my exclusive recipe
Erase unwanted wrinkles.
You gorgeous girls, I daresay,
Would salvage your complexion.
You lads would hear the fair say
You suit me to perfection.
Come, purchase youth and beauty
For the pittance that you pay.
Today is bargain day.
You owe yourself a duty,
A ticket of admittance
To eternal youth and beauty
For the pittance that you pay.
So overcome your malady,
Improve your personality,
Combat unkind reality,
Rejuvenate,
Reinvigorate ...
When down with laryngitis, hepatitis
Or Saint Vitus,
Not to mention hypertension,
Here's the bottle that you need.
Perhaps you have a tendency
To alcohol dependency!
Your waist is getting bigger,
You have lost your vim and vigor;
Work and play are going poorly
And you're balding prematurely;
The need is urgent surely
For a friend to intercede.
So purchase, purchase, one and all!
You toddlers from the nursery,
You codgers facing surgery,
You can't afford delay.
Oh, yes! A bargain, by the way.
You barely have to pay.
On the road I've weathered crisis,
Seldom resting, often walking.
You are asking what the price is?
How much money are we talking?
A hundred lire? No!
Thirty? No! Twenty? ...
Now do not be offended,
But you've made my stay so pleasant
With the welcome you've extended
That I wish to make a present --
To you each a crown for free!
I'll explain: for this outstanding
Vintage from a finer era
Throughout Europe I'm demanding
Never less than thirty lire.
But 'tis known to every yokel,
Native born, my roots are local.
Thus, although you'll think me jesting,
Only three I'm now requesting.
NEMORINO
Though my star of hope is waning,
I've no other course remaining.
Ah, to gain the heart I've prayed for
I have only got today.
Love is all I join the brigade for.
Forced to the wall, I must now do more than pray.
Life is nothing without Adina.
Determined, determined, I must do more than pray.
BELCORE
Drum and trumpet make it merry
For the marching military;
Bugles, banners and confetti,
Second helpings of spaghetti ...
Ways are muddy, battles bloody,
Still it's ever buddy-buddy;
Weekend leave and ladies pining,
Rowdy fun and steady pay;
Twenty scudi just for signing.
Join the army, march away.
NEMORINO
Twenty scudi.
BELCORE
Just for signing.
NEMORINO
Only a tear I barely saw
Moistened her eye, then fell,
Telling of pain and jealousy
Proud lips could not reveal.
Deep in my heart, I know.
Deep in my heart, now I know:
Longing, she loves me!
One tear has told me all.
Oh, for a moment close to her,
Answering fire with fire!
Breathing a sigh in harmony,
As wonder prolongs the spell.
The throbbing of her heart to feel and hear!
A smile to wipe away the furtive tear!
Heaven at last so near,
Granting in full my sole desire.
(He sees Adina approaching)
There she is ...
The love unborn till today
Heightens her beauty.
I'd better play the game
Of seeming not to care,
Give her a tiny dose of despair.
ADINA
For you!
Freedom is yours to claim again.
Why head for unknown places
Far from familiar faces?
Here you were born and bred.
Take it.
Here you are loved by one and all,
Praised for your kindness and caring.
No pain is past all repairing:
Clear, brighter days lie ahead.
You'll see.
No pain is past repairing.
A brighter future lies ahead.
