HAYDN

THE BUDDING SOPRANO

(La Canterina)

(cast of four, SSTT)

Apollonia, the budding soprano’s mother (a tenor), admires herself at the looking glass:

Oh, we ladies have a duty

To improve on native beauty.

With mascara,

We repair a decade’s damage.

Ever louder,

Give a cheer for paint and powder.

With a sprinkle in a twinkle

Every wrinkle disppears.

In a twinkle with a sprinkle

We undo a dozen years.

Don Pellagio, her music master, also of riper years, is enraged at discovering that his lovely Gasparina prefers a younger lover:

PELLAGIO:

Oh, the trollop! Oh, the traitor!

I detest her, loathe and hate her.

I will shout throughout the city

These are creatures without pity.

Feed your heart into a wringer,

Sooner that than trust a singer.

Better lonely, better dead!

APOLLONIA:

Fatal blunder,

Bringing down hell fire and thunder.

GASPARINA:

Overcome, my tears I shed.

Though I tricked him, I’n the victim,

Overcome with fear and dread.

ETTORE:

Such commotion and confusion,

What conclusion lies ahead?

To retaliate, Don Pellagio sets out to have Gasparina and her mother evicted from the house he has set up for them:

Come along, you men are strong.

No more shirking, get to working,

Throw them out!

Make it clear who has the clout.

No surrender, no back-tracking,

Put the ladies to their packing.

Plow into it, no delay.

Dammit, do it right away.

I’ll not pardon nor condone her;

Clear the house out, I’m the owner.

Hurry, hurry, faster, faster!

You’re the movers, I’m the master . . .

When Gasparina collapses under the strain, the rivals compete in their efforts to revive her, one with diamonds, the other with a purse of gold:

GASPARINA:

I’ve a heart so large and roomy,

Both have found the way to woo me.

THE RIVALS:

Token of a love unbroken,

Take a tender souvenir.

APOLLONIA:

Ring and purse’ll be rehearsal

For a future star’s career.

THE RIVALS:

Oh, surrender to the sender

Of the tender souvenir.

The moral is only too clear:

Let rejoicing follow rage.

Wisdom’s laurel

Springs from folly.

Our finale

Points a moral:

KEEP YOUR DAUGHTER OFF THE STAGE!