OFFENBACH

THE CAT THAT TURNED INTO A WOMAN

(one act, cast of four, SMTB)

Marianne’s beloved cat stirs up nostalgic recollections:

Love is the law of woman’s nature;

Certainly I have no quarrel with that.

But in the end, after trial and error,

Wise is the woman who chooses a cat.

Oh, but the cat is a cunning deceiver,

Ungrateful, hard-hearted and cold.

All the more reason we ladies adore them:

They remind us of lovers of old . . .

Pretty Minette, till lately a cat, recalls the earlier stages of her evolution, starting out as a naive little flower, a marigold:

Brahma! Brahma! Brahma!

Change me, I cried, o sacred power!

Though but a simple country flower,

Life in the sun I find too hot,

Stuck in a stupid flower pot.

Heavenly Brahma, o kindly God,

Pray, would you think me very odd

Were I to say I much preferred

The glorious freedom of a bird?

Then thunder rolled . . .

A total dark!

And lo! Behold!

I sprouted wings, a meadow lark.

At first I can’t deny

I found it fun to fly,

Though there must be better ways

Of getting high.

But to chirp and to pipe --

Well, I’m just not the type.

Too soon, need I say,

I grew bored and blase.

So I swallowed my pride;

Again I cried:

Spare me, o God, let’s come to terms;

I draw the line at eating worms.

Change me, is what I’m driving at.

O dear Brahma!

The god replied, we’ll see to that.

No sooner said, I was a cat . . .