ROSSINI

COUNT ORY

Count Ory, an unscrupulous, lusty young nobleman, willing to go to any lengths in amorous pursuit of the beautiful Countess, is passing himself off as a wise and holy hermit -- an old man whose studies have brought forth amazing results:

An aged man devoted

To a life of contemplation,

My work has long been noted

For most remarkable results.

Abroad at times I wander

To seek, observe and ponder.

A servant dedicated

To exalted exploration,

My skills are celebrated

In the most exclusive cults.

Tired of canes and crutches?

You long for higher places?

You men would wed a duchess?

In such do I excel.

I concentrate on cases

That call for softer touches,

The way to sweet embraces,

And wedding bells as well.

You want to hold the aces?

All this and more I can do;

I light the light for you, and you.

Adviser and physician,

A man above suspicion,

I ply a secret art

Known to heal the lonely heart . . .

A cantankerous old professor has been sent by the Count’s overbearing father to track down his unpredictable son:

A hired lackey, I play the sleuth,

Forever chasing that wayward youth.

A bloody spy, a private eye!

Ah, what a slap in the face

For years of serving His Grace!

From my high plateau,

Forced to sink so low!

I’m a scholar, a professor,

Accustomed to No, sir! and Yes, sir!

Now long of tooth and short of breath,

Pursuit of youth will be my death . . .

Because their husbands and brothers are off crusading in the Middle East, the wives left behind are fair game to predators like Count Ory. The Countess, how-ever, receives a letter with disconcerting news:

Dear sister, just a line:

The long crusade is finished!

In numbers undiminished

We sail from Palestine.

Through grimy dirt and mud

We fought the battle well.

With swords now red with blood,

We felled the infidel.

As God and fate direct us,

We head for native ground.

In two days time expect us

Home safe and sound.

Count Ory reacts with characteristic aplomb:

Despite a change of weather,

The chase I shall renew.

To get my act together,

A day will have to do.

The Countess and her ladies live secluded inside the castle, where they are under the illusion that all is safe and secure:

Calm is the air,

Tranquil the waters.

Here life gently flows

Unruffled and sweet.

We breathe repose

In these quiet quarters,

Safe from the snare

Of man’s deceit.

Unknowingly, the ladies are in for a rough night.