SCHUBERT

THE WEDDING ROAST

(trio for STB and piano)

It is the night before the wedding -- a time of great excitement, when joy and apprehension comingle, a time when one might expect a young man to have much on his mind. And so he does: roast rabbit. What is a wedding table with-out it? And in the nearby forest there is surely many a plump rabbit waiting for the honor. What matter that the woods are private property?

THERESE:

My Theodore, so kind and good,

Tomorrow we shall marry.

I pray you, go not to the wood;

No roast is necessary.

As you’re the one I love the most,

You’ll heed my word of warning.

I pray you, nevermind the roast;

Stay safe inside till morning.

THEODORE:

The stone is sharp, my aim secure,

My hand is strong and able.

Tomorrow noon we’ll have for sure

A rabbit on the table . . .

The bride continues to be dead set against it. Far too risky. Poachers can be hanged. And marriage, after all, can be performed without a roast. The clenching argument: what about her? Alone in the house at night, a secluded area that rogues and thieves inhabit. We are not the first to live in a dangerous society.

A compromise is soon reached: they both go. After a dazzlingly swift change of scene, the couple are in the woods, hot on the trail. The night is clear, the fresh air envigorating, the rabbit close at hand -- all is going delightfully well. But bear in mind, this is a trio, not a duet. The third voice is not that of the rabbit.

The game warden is also on the prowl -- a man dedicated to his work. The fatal shot is fired. The couple are caught redhanded, the incriminating rabbit lying at their feet. The game is up; all is lost. A jail cell is waiting. They plead to no avail. Bribery is equally ineffective. Their remorse is complete, poured out in lines of heartrending lyricism:

Oh, why did we not settle

For dumplings from the kettle?

Barring a miracle, it looks as if our trio should more aptly be entitled: THE RABBIT’S REVENGE . . .