CHABRIER

THE STAR

(L’Etoile)

Meet the peddler Lazuli, whose portable kit contains everything that a woman needs:

I’m happy to be

The peddler Lazuli.

A dealer in fantasy,

To feminine needs I cater.

I’ve got the goods, the odds and ends

On which a fair one’s fate depends,

A friend of the gender, no traitor . . .

Modest, but nonetheless I wager

I am ahead of Mother Nature.

Working upon the faded fair,

I polish, improve and repair.

Listen again, potential buyer:

What does a woman most desire?

Happily, you’ll discover it

Right here in my portable kit.

For eyes that can sparkle or smolder

And spur the gallant to grow bolder,

For lustre, languor, take your pick --

My pencil quickly does the trick.

Appalled at your pallid complexion?

The color in need of correction?

Oh, why complain about your plight?

A touch of rouge will set you right.

This box of mine contains a lotion

Whose merits hardly need promotion.

Applied to dull or gray coiffures,

The color you wish can be yours.

Finally, proudly I proclaim

A miracle for the Hall of Fame:

Thanks to my bottled blessings all,

The mother and daughter

Now go as sisters to the ball . . .

Luckily, Lazuli meets a master of the art of reading the future in the stars.

LAZULI:

Little star of fate so far away,

Tell me all!

Speak and say,

Will my fortune rise or fall?

Little star of love, I turn to you:

Is my dream

Coming true?

Ah, aim at me a kindly beam.

Oh, distant master of my fate, you can

Endow me with all treasures known to man,

Determine when I sob or sing;

All pain and pleasure you can bring.

On my head your rays of light can shower

Rays that turn the seed into a flower

And make of me a prince or king . . .

King Ouf has his own idea of holiday fun:

When the palace becomes a bore

And careful plans go contrary,

A little blood, a little gore

Will make a moody monarch merry.

When grumpy from the daily grind,

When problems come with no solution,

I loosen up, yes, I unwind

By calling for an execution.

No rinky dink or kinky king,

Though on the brink of seeming inhumane;

But when I call

For heads to fall,

I do it just to entertain.

A quiet man, I live serene

With little need of new devices.

No lethal chair, no guillotine,

A simple chopping block suffices.

So great is my desire to please

That after each decapitation

I send my heartfelt sympathies

To every near and dear relation.

No rinky dink or kinky king,

I never blink where lesser mortals might,

And with a throne

To call my own,

My lucky star is burning bright.

Lazuli’s fortune indeed takes an astonishing shift, waking up in the palace, surrounded by lovely young ladies:

LAZULI:

The dream of a lifetime I see unfold,

Yesterday just a down and outer,

My only wealth a heart of gold,

My daily diet, bread and water.

Today, like a sultan of old,

I feast on the sweets of a harem,

And refuse to forswear ’em or share ’em.

Now that I’m a man, not a boy,

While the dream goes on, let’s enjoy!

Lazuli takes a reluctant swim with unfortunate consequences:

A hideous mistake

To leap into the lake.

I barely got across it --

A fellow fond of fish

Upon a chafing dish,

And water from the faucet.

My clothes are soaking wet!

I’m limp and out of breath,

And now about to catch my death . . .

Atchi! Atchi! Atchi!

Atchi! I could have chosen

A warmer way to go

Instead of getting frozen

Atchi! Of getting frozen

Down, down below . . .

In conclusion, the cast asks the audience for indulgence:

As here we stand,

Your blessing and

A hearty hand

Can keep the wolf away.

So do be kind

And bear in mind,

Tomorrow is another play.