OFFENBACH

THE BANDITS

The scene is a secluded mountain hideout:

BANDITS:

Eyes alert, we look and lurk,

All in the line of daily work.

Where the forest is dark and lonely,

There the sign reads, For Bandits Only.

Under the guise of a saintly hermit, Falsacappa, the bandit chief, is leading a bevy of young ladies up the arduous path to this mountain retreat.

FIAMETTA:

Dear hermit, such a winding way!

I fear you’ve led us girls astray,

As we plod only God knows where.

My shoulders ache, my back is sore;

We’ve followed you ten miles or more.

Oh, darling hermit,

Do confirm it:

Are we near your place of prayer?

FALSACAPPA:

The path of virtue we pursue,

A way till now unknown to you . . .

ZERLINA:

Although no doubt a novelty,

These higher slopes are not for me.

Going down I prefer by far.

The climb is long and steep to boot;

Next time I’ll take the easy route.

Oh, darling hermit,

Do confirm it:

Kindly tell where the hell we are . . .

Falsacappa reveals his identity:

Who is the glory of his trade,

The pro on the prowl, the bandit king?

Falsacappa!

Leader and hero of the raid,

Eager and out to do his thing?

Falsacappa!

As he waylays the late wayfarer,

See the poor devil shake in terror,

His look of dismay beyond disguise.

Now on his knees, the captive cries:

This can be none but . . .

Falsacappa!

Who in the heat and thick of duty

Pauses to smile and bow to beauty

Till the dear sweet, with lowered eyes,

Bashfully blushing, softly sighs:

This can be none but . . .

Falsacappa!

Falsacappa, the bandit chief, has a beautiful daughter named Fiorella, who has eagerly adopted the family trade:

A trusty musket at my side,

A blade across my knee;

House and home I cannot abide;

The open sky for me!

When fellow bandits all are sleeping,

When the night owl appears,

A constant lookout I am keeping

For the dread carbineers.

From moonlit woods a crackling rifle shot --

What can this music mean? Pow, pow, ah!

Fiorella’s on the scene!

They call me booty queen,

The bandit daughter, seventeen.

I scamper down the mountain rocks;

On dusty roads I roam.

At my glory when danger knocks,

In heat of hazard most at home.

I may appear a fragile flower,

But a word to the wise:

The man who tries to test his power

Could be in for surprise.

From moonlit woods a crackling rifle shot --

What can this music mean? Pow, pow, ah!

Fiorella’s on the scene!

The local pillage queen,

The bandit daughter, seventeen.

Everything changes for Fiorella when one day, while on the job, she meets a handsome young farmer. What happened, and why?

One day -- it was so easy and simple,

And yet to this day I can’t explain.

One day we met, I started to tremble,

And never have days been the same again.

A glow entered my heart to stay,

And I knew -- can you deny?

This could be only, only love,

Yet who knows the reason why?

We met briefly that day and inside me

A something awakened and came to life.

He smiled at me, and with no more to guide me

I knew that one day I’d be his wife.

A glow entered my heart to stay,

And I knew -- can you deny?

This could be only, only love,

Yet who knows the reason why?

Falsacappa welcomes the young farmer into the gang with a few words of wisdom:

In the best of bandit circles

There’s a rule you’re not to break:

When a man of honor burgles,

Fifty-fifty on the take.

Never stoop to hoard or hog it

When you pick a purse or pocket.

Pearl and diamond, gold and silver --

What’s it for if not to rob?

Made to plunder, made to pilfer,

Made to give the gang a job . . .

Meet a bandit of a different sort, the king’s royal cashier:

I live for love, I life for pleasure;

Lively ladies I adore.

The luxuries of life I treasure,

Always first in line for more.

Made for razzle-dazzle,

I dabble, I dally;

Living high, the best I buy,

And never mind the bill.

Later on the hassle,

The time for the tally.

Too unpleasant! For the present,

Take it from the till.

Some would look askance;

As for me I don’t complain,

For if I had the chance

I’d do it all again.

Ah! Ah! Here’s the reason why:

It so happens, I’m that sort of guy.

My style of living I’ve perfected,

Yet one drawback I foresee:

My books are bound to be inspected --

Then it’s ball and chain for me.

Finding now my coffer

So vacant, so void,

The deficit will definitely

Seem a little queer.

Apologies I offer

If some are annoyed.

Little doubt they’ll take it out

On Yours Truly here.

That’s the way it goes.

As for me, I don’t complain,

For heaven only knows,

I’d do it all again.

Ah! Ah! Here’s the reason why:

It so happens, I’m that sort of guy.