The Secret Marriage Sampler

Music by Cimarosa
English Version by Donald Pippin

Old GERONIMO envisions a glorious future for his elder daughter:

      (to Elisetta)
      You are to wed a nobleman,
      Blue-blooded through and through,
      All settled, ah, yes!
      A bona fide patrician,
      Today he comes to woo.
      A Countess in the making,
      A title for the taking,
      Acclaim and recognition
      My daughter will enjoy --
      An eminent position
      Above the hoi polloi.

      We'll rise to the occasion
      With song and celebration
      To hail a new relation.
      We leave the middle classes,
      The donkeys and the asses,
      And join the higher rank.
      And as you romp and revel
      Upon a higher level,
      Guess who you have to thank.
      Your father!  Your father!


The promised COUNT modestly announces himself, before
unfortunately falling in love with the wrong girl:

      I dispense with ceremony.
      Nothing fancy, nothing formal,
      I'm your normal simple noble.
      Just a normal simple noble.
      No pomposity, no pretension, no, no!
      Not a trace of condescension.


CAROLINA tries gracefully to decline the Count's proposal of marriage:

      Pardon sir, you must excuse me;
      I confess the fault is mine.
      Overcome that you should choose me,
      With regret I must decline.

      For this challenging position
      Little merit can I claim,
      And I've not the least ambition
      To acquire a noble name.

      Find a better suited girl to marry,
      Someone not so plain and ordinary.
      Social grace and poise are needed
      For the role that she's to play.

      I am neither pert nor pretty,
      Seldom clever, never witty;
      Still a silly ignoramus,
      Shy among the high and famous;
      Simple-minded, addle-pated,
      Barely, barely educated ...

      Far above my social sphere,
      I will make you blush with shame.
      When the Lords and Ladies sneer,
      You I fear will bear the blame.

The COUNT is desperate to make himself unappealing to
the daughter who is determined to marry him:

      You compel me to be candid.
      I'm deceitful, dissolute and underhanded,
      And I babble in my sleep.
      Cross and cranky in the morning,
      For the record let me add
      I'm a blunderbuss, a bounder and a cad.

      Would you wish to be deflowered
      By a bully and a coward?
      Mull it over, take a look before you leap.
      Who would want a ne'er-do-well
      Only good for raising hell?

      No cold shivers rise within you?
      Pray allow me to continue.
      Plain and simply, I'm a boozer and a bastard,
      Seldom sober, often plastered,
      Hard to handle, hedonistic,
      Diabolic and sadistic.
      Such a monster would you wed?
      Do you want him in your bed?

      Wait a bit, I've barely started:
      Somber, silent, heavy-hearted,
      Overbearing, domineering --
      Crocodiles are more endearing.
      Plus a temper that displeases
      I've a dozen rare diseases.
      Out of shape and doing poorly,
      Fat and balding prematurely,
      Neither brainy nor overbright,
      Sullen, surly, day and night.
      Always itching for a fight ...

      Coarse and brutal,
      Mere reform I fear is futile.
      Feather-weighted, dissipated,
      Broken down, dilapidated,
      Foolish, self-infatuated --
      You begin to get the drift:
      I am not the perfect gift.


Copyright © 1999 Donald Pippin. Exclusive agent: Pocket Opera, Inc., San Francisco.

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