A Yanked from the Harem Sampler

OSMIN
   Good-for-nothing trouble-makers!
   Always reaching out for takers.
   Words alone cannot convey
   How I hate the U. S. A.
   Oh, the games they play I understand.
   Sporting about and spying.
   Probing about and prying.

   But I ... I am not naive.

   Secret agents, allegations,
   Undercover operations,
   Mischief up the sleeve.
   I repeat,
   Mischief up the sleeve.

   Crude and overbearing,
   Quarrelling and swearing,
   When it comes to Yanks,
   I reply, No thanks.
   I reply point blank, sir!
   I dislike the Yank.

   Their approach so hale and hearty
   Might deceive some other party.
   Drawing up my list of gripes,
   First I put the stars and stripes.

   Of their native sons I am no friend;
   Clever and calculating,
   Smooth and ingratiating ...
   But I ... I can hold my ground.

   Democratic fellow-feeling
   Only peasants find appealing.
   I have been around,
   I repeat.
   I have been around.

   Grumbling and grousing
   When they're not carousing.

   When it comes to Yanks.
   I reply, No thanks;
   I reply point blank, sir!
   I dislike the Yank.

   Nincompoops and jerks,
   Just as bad as Turks.

   By the sacred beard of Allah,
   Send 'em all to kingdom come.
   They and their almighty dollar
   You can tell to go back home.
   Send 'em all to kingdom come.
   Yankee go home!

   Get 'em out, clear the borders;
   Let 'em know who's giving orders.

   Send 'em home, out of Turkey,
   To Des Moines, or Albuquerque.

   Let 'em hang tied together,
   String 'em up to tar and feather.

   Let 'em sweat, let 'em suffer;
   Tell 'em all the Turk is tougher.

BLONDIE 
   In days of lace and lavender
   When charm was all that mattered,
   A girl might well be flattered
   By courtesies in kind.

   Our standards now have lifted;
   We claim an equal basis,
   Not soft and pretty phrases,
   But a meeting of the mind.

   From pampered pet to partner,
   The ladder we've ascended;
   As nature clearly intended,
   We journey side by side.

   The role of doll or diva
   We've willingly discarded;
   Through waters still uncharted
   The ship of love must glide...

CONSTANZA 
   Grief and chaos
   Rage in bitter warfare
   Since the day
   That shattered my existence...

   Dark of night
   Bears down upon me
   And spreads a blanket
   That conceals the truth I knew...
   Was my love a dream that dies?
   Just a dream?
   Was my love a mere charade?

   Like the rose deprived of water,
   Like the frozen grass of winter,
   I am cold and void of life;
   My heart has turned to stone.

   Since that sudden separation,
   Here I wander through the dark;
   Through a lonely wood I walk.
   Birds are silent,
   Flowers withered,
   Through a darkened wood I wander,
   Lost, uncertain and alone...

BLONDIE
   What a pleasure, what delight!
   We'll be out of here tonight.
   This adventure will survive --
   He will bring us back alive.

   I am most enthusiastic --
   Order steps, however drastic.
   Now to hurry, go inform her
   Help is just around the corner...

   Sound the trumpet, raise a cheer;
   Just in time the troops appear...
   Wave the banners, give a shout;
   By tomorrow we'll be out.
   Cry Hosanna!  Praise the Lord!
   Blow the whistle, all aboard!

PEDRILLO
   Armed for action!  Now or never!
   We must act at any cost;
   He who hesitates is lost.
   Do I weaken?  Do I waver?
   Does it call for someone braver?

   No!  Too late for turning back,
   I'm ready for the bold attack.

   Yet I cannot resist the thought:
   What will happen if we're caught?
   Will I make it?  Does it matter
   That my teeth begin to chatter?

   No!  The girls we have to free;
   The dirty work is up to me.
   No!  They must go free,
   And it is mainly up to me,
   The dirty work is up to me.

   Yet, however bold and brave,
   My own skin I'd like to save.

   As the lionhearted hero, ha!
   As the lionhearted hero,
   I'd be rated close to zero.

   Yet, no matter what the cost,
   We must act or all is lost.

PEDRILLO 
   Have a tasty Coca-Cola,
   Guaranteed to make your day;
   Cool, refreshing Coca-Cola
   From the good old U.S.A.

OSMIN
   What if Allah saw me drink it,
   Would he look the other way?...

BOTH
   Tasty, tempting Coca-Cola
   Is the drink for young and old.
   You can turn to Coca-Cola
   When you yearn for something cold...

BELMONTE
   Although the way was dark and murky
   You have been kind, humane and wise;
   But my delight I'll not disguise
   When we can wave good-bye to Turkey.
   A man of heart and head combined,
   With some relief we leave behind.

CONSTANZA
   Your verdict fills me with emotion;
   You put us ever in your debt;
   Though I shall be more grateful yet
   When we are safe across the ocean.
   My admiration I'll convey
   From seven thousand miles away!

PEDRILLO 
   With execution around the corner,
   I shut my eyes and hold my breath;
   For when it comes to life or death,
   I very much prefer the former.
   To my relief I'm still around,
   Instead of six feet underground!

BLONDIE
   For exploration I've a mania,
   Air, sea or land, no matter what;
   But for my next vacation spot,
   Give my New York or Pennsylvania!
   I am no longer overawed
   By the delights of life abroad.

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